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A lot has been going on in my head and heart lately concerning the choices before me. For awhile I was tortured a bit over whether to send my son off to our neighborhood public school for Kindergarten. It seems like several of my friends who happen to homeschool assumed I was in the same boat too. It's not that I didn't consider it or see the merit in it. It just simply wasn't the best choice for right now. I was awake for some time one night feeling a bit panicky over whether I was making the right choice for my son. I really felt like God spoke to me and said, "Don't worry, it will be alright." I didn't get the impression that public school was the permanent answer, but rather Him reminding me that He is perfectly fit to guide and move me when I need it. He is SO good in that way. I love him so much, because he always seems to prepare my heart for when life takes a change.
I've also had the nudge recently to go back to work. I was teaching full-time before Nathan was born and enjoyed it. It was crazy too! To be honest with you, I can't imagine how in the world I can manage now with two kids - especially with the profession of teaching! However, my heart is moving in that direction even though I wasn't particularly seeking it. I have been a Christian long enough to know that is God at work in me. I can't explain only to know that he is once again preparing my heart for change. Why? I'm not sure. I have a little one who will not be two years old when I return to a position next fall. No, he won't be in daycare every day - my husband's work makes that possible. But, he will see less of me. That is something I worry about and wonder about.
Why am I writing this? Perhaps to just say, "Hey, this is my life." For better or worse I'm going to move in the direction I feel I am to go. It seems like in Christian circles (and any other circle)we alienate one another by being very outspoken concerning choices others make in their life. Yes, I'm convicted of it also at times. It's a good thing God is not like us. He gets beyond what seems to be "the only way" and makes a path that still leads others to Him and His goodness.
I came across an article recently from "Today's Christian Woman" that helps to open up dialogue such as this. It is focused a bit on the choice for Palin as V.P., but only as a springboard for a discussion about just what a woman's role is. I hope you find it thought-provoking.
1 comment:
Great article! I too have lately been feeling the pull of God in my life to do something "more" and trust that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It can be intimidating to think about balancing motherhood, homeschooling (in my case) and taking more responsibility for my grandmother with a job outside the home...but if God's hand is on me and this is His will for me, then I can rely on Him to hold me up to do it. Sarah Palin's accomplishments are inspirational, but I was already feeling this "pull" before the surprise of her nomination.
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