I Don't Want to Die in my Kitchen Today - No Recipe, Just Some Humor

I don't want to die in my kitchen today, therefore I will stay out of it if at all possible. No, I'm not worried about gas leaking from any appliance or a runaway boa constrictor hiding in a cabinet. We're just remodeling the house.

Anyone who has gone through a home remodel seems to have a horror story to tell or at least understand the agony of all it entails. My husband recently began such a process on our small and outdated farmhouse. I've waited for this moment for quite some time, so all of the packing, rearranging, and noise level has been quite minimal as far as I'm concerned. I guess I just have my eye on the prize - an updated, larger house with two toilets! Shazaam! I don't quite know what life will be like having some private time without a little munchkin knocking on the door.

Today however, the remodel is slightly stressful I must say. The framing is done, and the trusses are coming tomorrow. So is all of the help. The one thing that is not done is the removal of the roof and attic over the kitchen. My husband is up there right now with a saw, cutting, ripping, and slinging it over the sides. The fact I have two sick kids at home does not help. He has been working nonstop for several days straight, and there's not much left in the tank for him. I wish I could help but that's not an option. So, he's up there by himself, probably working too quickly to really be safe. That is evident by the small hole that punched through the ceiling when a board fell down upon it.

He made the decision to leave the kitchen ceiling on. I did pack up some things that were on the wall and special items. I didn't really worry about the rest...until now. The ceiling seems to be sagging not to mention jumping up and down with my husband's rampage. Some days are lessons in "pray without ceasing". Today is such a day.

Today will end well if:

-The ceiling doesn't cave in.

-The kids get to bed at a normal time.

-I don't have to cash in on a life insurance policy.

Amen and amen.

It's the End of August and I'm Wearing Happy Easter Socks - No Recipe, Just Some Humor

Before my son Nathan was born I was teaching fourth grade. Some days I wished I was still waitressing instead of stressing about deadlines or field trips. Some days I wished I was cleaning the toilets like Beverly the custodian instead of dealing with a particular student's parent who was my thorn for the year. For the most part though my job was fulfilling and I really liked working within the professional realm.

But like I said, that was before children.

Now I’m sitting at the park with a 5 year old and 6 month old. I’m an older than average mom (46 to be exact – gulp.) It doesn’t help that my hair desperately needs a haircut and I’m wearing “Happy Easter” socks in August. What has happened to me? Well, I don’t have money for the haircuts I used to get because no one is paying me for staying home with the kids. However, I don’t really think there is any excuse for the socks. Any day now I expect to see Stacey and Clinton from “What Not to Wear” come and embarrass me in front of America. Actually, it would be my secret thrill to see them. Go to New York for a week and spend $5,000 on a new wardrobe? I think I could let them humble me for that. I think it’s a fair trade. At least then I could get a new haircut. However, there’s that 360 degree mirror segment. The waddle of a neck I have would be screaming to use that 5K for a neck-lift. That would do more for my self-esteem than purchasing clothing unfit to be worn while feeding the goats or changing poopie diapers.

Since I don’t think I’ll receive a windfall soon or visit a TV set, I think I’ll just go home and just change my socks.